finished manacled ... what now?

i just finished last night and this is my first dramione fanfic/first fanfic in like 8 years! fun fact (don't attack me) i have only seen all the HP movies twice and the first time i didnt like them as much as i wanted to (i was confused abt alot and i think thats why i didnt like it a lot the first watch i feel like if i read the books, more would have connected) but upon second watch i liked way more! a few weeks ago i fell down a draco/hermione rabbit hole and kept seeing ppl talk about manacled so i thought "yk what? lets do it!" and im still debating if reading this was the worst decision of my life ...

i literally can't get over it or stop thinking about it. i read it all within a week. im a big reader and this is easily in my top 3 books i have EVER READ! i hyperfixate on things yes but i think this is gonna be a long time recovery! holy shit like the amount of times i would sit up and GASP and also just sobbed???

my friend does book binding for herself so she is making me one im def gonna re read in chronological order when shes done because theres no way i cant read that again. all i wanna do is talk about it and i would literally rip off all my toe nails for a draco POV (i know she is never gonna make one but someone PLEASE i have seen a few started and abandoned ones like i will pay u to pick it back up lmaoooo)

literally how do i move on from this? how do i deal with this? how do i EXIST lolllll