Pain literally changed my outlook on death

As you all know, when the pain is bad with endometriosis it’s effing BAD. The first time I had the super severe truly thought I was dying and was ambulanced to the hospital pain, it changed my outlook on the afterlife. I am extremely scared of death and always used to say and truly believe that I would rather be in “he||” and be in the worst pain constantly than there just be nothing after life. The pain I felt then made me completely change my views because I would rather be nothing after life then feel that. The pain I felt that night and have felt many times since makes me wish to be 💀 in the moment because it’s so awful. I have to tell myself that it does get better- not completely better but a little better after a while. Anyways, that’s my story.