Left cushy job to pursue more purpose, now feeling depressed and more lost than ever
Hey everyone, hoping some folks here might have some insights to offer. I’m about to turn 30, which is probably triggering some of this existential crisis. Basically I’ve worked in marketing in tech for the last 8 years or so. It was never my goal but it’s where I ended up finding work and I got to a position making a salary I never expected to make in my life. Despite that I felt so unfulfilled, and like my work wasn’t making any sort of positive impact which made me feel really demotivated. As a result, outside of work I pursued many creative hobbies and endeavors.
This summer I was feeling really confident and excited at the thought of having more time for creativity so I made the decision to quit my corporate job with no other job lined up. I had racked up over six figures in savings to make this feel possible. My goal was to pursue self employment or just take on some part time work, have more time for exploring creative hobbies, and hopefully eventually transition into a career more focused on social impact or environmental impact / sustainability.
The problem is that ever since I left my job, i feel I’ve been sinking deeper and deeper into this dark hole of uncertainty. I don’t feel confident pitching myself as a freelancer because I always felt kind of like an imposter in my corporate career anyways. I’m struggling to get out of bed each days let alone try and make big career moves. I had ideas of applying to grad programs to study either something related to sustainability or mental health counseling / art therapy but those deadlines are coming and going and reading many posts about debt and how horrible the job market is is making me feel I’ve potentially made a huge mistake in leaving my cushy remote job just because it wasn’t ~fulfilling~.
I’m taking steps to work on my mental health, having signed up for insurance and making an appointment with a psychiatrist because I truly haven’t felt this hopeless in a long time, and I feel it’s all my own doing , but at the same time I’m trying to have faith that there’s a reason I made this decision and that I just need to navigate the uncertainty and it’ll all make sense in the end.
Despite this I have been trying really hard to make moves. I’ve signed up for a graduate certificate program in ecology and also am enrolling in a climate career accelerator.
I just feel overwhelmed and so unsure. And at a time when it feels like all my friends are settling not only into careers but life, marriage, families etc. I feel very alone and it’s making me isolate further.
All this to say I’d love any insights anyone can give on the following 1 navigating mental health episodes amidst a career transition - I was unhappy where I was, but I’m also unhappy in my attempts to change it.
2 pursuing a career in social impact / sustainability. Has anyone gone back to school for this?
Same as above, but for mental health counseling. Anyone made this transition and been happy?
The difficulty of trying to sell yourself as a freelancer / be self employed when you’re really not feeling confident about your skills and feeling burnt out on endless self promotion