Can't find my twin

Heyy I'm a Gemini just like you and i really have very important to say to my Gemini fellows. I think i went through nervous breakdown or mental breakdown or maybe you can say spiritual awakening where your sense of self is completely lost or your ego is collapsed in which you feel you completely lost. Now I know that Gemini's have two personalities or dual minds. Right now I can't access that twin again. I can't find that spilt experience again. Will i get my twin with time or I have to be with myself for the rest of my life? If you went through the same experience then please share your experiences. It will be very helpful not just for me but for all the Gemini's. Thank you for reading.