I just can't find my twin anymore

I don't know what to say but I'll say this one thing and that is I just can't find my Gemini twin anymore. Be it masculine or feminine twin; i am fragmented. I think I have lost myself. Went through ego death and now I don't know who I am anymore. It feels like my twin is dead. I don't know what to do to make my twin alive. What's your diagnosis if you can relate with my story?