Germaphobia and relationships

Hey, this is a talk about a relationship I had with someone that I eventually ended because of my germaphobia. I kinda don't know where to talk about this and never talked about this before and just really wanted to say this and see if anyone has gone through anything similar.

So I used to have extremely bad germaphobia(after time passing I have been able to manage better). I used to have issues touching anything I thought was dirty. This would include other people, a public table, doorknobs, basically almost anything I didnt clean myself or see get cleaned. Everytime I touched something would have to wash my hands completely a total of 10 times(this would probably take 10-15 minutues).

So during this time I managed to get together with a girl that I liked for a while. We dated for about 8 months before I ended up breaking up with her. During this time I could not bring my self to do much of anything physical with her I would need to know she washed her hands prior to touching me or I would have extreme anxiety and issues with the contact. Surprisingly she was pretty understanding about the whole situation. She knew about my germaphobia prior to the relationship(my hands would be super cracked constantly from all my hand washing so I never really could hide it). But after realizing that I was not ready to be intimate without having extreme anxiety about it. I decided to breakup with her because I honestly just felt guilty that she had to put up with all my germapobic behavior.

Has anyone else had this issue. Like just feeling guilty to people around you about your phobia. Like she was understanding about it but I always just felt deep in my brain she shouldn't have to deal with this.