Opinions on baby shower

Hi!

My husband and I are expecting our first baby in July. He and I had discussed having a co-ed baby shower at our home and mentioned this to my in laws who live 5 hours away. We also asked my MIL if she wanted to be a part of hosting with my husband, myself, my mom and sister.

I want to preface by saying that driving or flying has never been an issue for them.

Long story short and of nowhere the whole situation kind of blew up because they want to host a couples shower at their house 5 hours away because they said it was disrespectful of me as a wife to my husband to have the shower so far away (in our home where we live) from his family all of whom would have been invited.

They continued to tell me I was disrespectful for wanting one shower when all I was trying to do was be inclusive and have everyone there men and women to celebrate our baby.

They still insist on having a couples shower and said they would not be inviting my parents because “ it just doesn’t work like that”. When they were both invited and entire family to the original shower.

This whole situation has really stressed me out being 4 months pregnant that I really don’t even want a shower anymore. I came to the solution that I may just do a girls only shower and have my mom and sister host and still invite the girls on their side of the family. However, my husband still wants a baby shower for couples at his parents house.

I do think that if it was a girls shower from the beginning none of this would have happened because my husband wouldn’t have been involved, they wouldn’t have cared and they wouldn’t have come to celebrate the baby. I just feel torn, stressed upset and defeated.

What would you do?