I'm kind of moving on with this

I’ve been limerent over this guy for about a year and a half now. He’s the avoidant type—you know, the kind who draws you in at first, making you feel wanted, only to slowly and silently pull away. It leaves you stuck in this exhausting limbo, constantly questioning if they’re still interested, which just fuels the limerence.

After a lot of overthinking, I realized that what really draws me to him isn’t even him—it’s the uncertainty. It’s this maddening question of, “Does he love me, or doesn’t he?” I’ve built up so many scenarios in my head and taken every little thing as a sign. Like, there was this one time we both got COVID in the same week, and I convinced myself it was a sign from God that we were meant to be. (Yeah, I know how ridiculous that sounds now.)

But the same exhausting cycle keeps happening. He’ll do something that makes me feel like he’s interested, then disappear for three weeks. Nothing. And just when I start to pull away, he does something else to pull me back in. It’s not like he’s doing it intentionally—that’s just how he is.

Here’s the thing, though—I’m avoidant too. So, on some level, it felt like I knew what he was thinking. It’s like I could predict his feelings and behavior because they mirrored my own patterns. And that just made everything even more intense.

A couple of weeks ago, I hit a real low point and decided it was time to move on. At first, it felt impossible, like I couldn’t even imagine life without him. I had all these dramatic thoughts about how I’d never feel this way about anyone else. But then I tried flipping the script.

I started imagining what he might think when he sees me—this time, not in a flattering way. I told myself, “He probably thinks, ‘Ugh, when is she finally going to leave me alone?’” It wasn’t a nice thought, but it worked. By the end of the day, I found him almost repulsive because I convinced myself he thought that way about me.

Since then, I’ve been moving on. I’ve stopped obsessing over him, and I’ve even started developing other crushes. It might not be the most accurate or healthiest way to get over someone—he probably doesn’t even think of me like that—but it gave me the push I needed to let go.