It’s like a dark maze

Every corner is completely black and empty, I cannot find a way out and I don’t think I want to anymore. I’m getting used to being like this, being miserable, the breakdowns and tears, I’m getting ok with it. You cannot save someone like me, I didn’t expect i’d live this long anyways. Not saying i’m suicidal just because i’m lonely i’ve been this way since I was conscious of life, but it does make it feel more real, death.

I get sad for my naive teenage self who thought life would get better when I became an adult. I’ve got freedom, but I didn’t realize how damaged I already was from my past, who would’ve thought things from as young as 7 can effect me to the point of constant self-harm in many ways, I can’t shake the belief that this is what I deserve, this is all i’ve ever be good for.