Being a negative bitch to my mom

I’m 15 weeks pregnant after going through a miscarriage, and I’m finding that I am being so negative / teenagery towards my mom and I don’t know why. We have a very close relationship and she’s the person I go to when I need help.

It all started because she was very optimistic at the start of this pregnancy, and that annoyed me because I had JUST gone through a miscarriage and wanted to be realistic. So anything positive she said I basically followed up with the extreme negative alternative. Ie she says “I have a feeling the baby is going to be perfect and healthy” and I respond “ok but what if I have a feeling it’s already dead.” Like an emo teenager.

Now I’m in a “safer” zone, I’m still struggling to not be negative to her. She asks how I’m doing, and I basically just dump all my fears and bad feelings on her. I’m afraid my doctor isn’t good, I’m afraid the child will be disabled, I’m afraid I’ll have a still birth, I feel nauseous and sick (I do), I’m afraid the child will ruin my life. These are all feelings I have in passing, but when I talk to her, they come out full force like a big dump of negative energy. It’s to the point where I feel like it’s not healthy to talk to her because it puts me in a bad mental space, to no fault of hers.

Has anyone gone through anything similar? Does anyone have any advice? I don’t want to be this way, it’s not good for me or her.