I can’t stop talking to my abuser

My first boyfriend when I was a teenager was abusive and sexually violent. Now 10 years later, I have a baby and a fiancée, but I can never fully break contact with my ex. We have spoken on and off for the last 10 years. I had PTSD, have done extensive trauma therapy, EMDR, you name it.

But I am still obsessed with the validation he gives me. It’s something about how desirable I am to him that my ego loves, even though he r*ped me and did terrible things to me. Please help??

It’s destroying me and my relationship