I’ve read but never contributed here before - is this the kind of parent you guys are on about? (mild - for her - scenario below)
So due to her disabilities and me helping her pay off her mortgage, I live with my mother. It is difficult and we often have friction with what I feel are ridiculous situations. I often feel like she enters a room looking for something to be upset about.
So today I entered the kitchen. Last night I had done my washing (laundry) and hung it up on the clothes drying horsey (rack) and placed it next to the kitchen window which is the entirely “correct” thing for us to do. Especially as she often complains about how and where I may hang it up.
I entered the kitchen and she had moved it away from the window as she had wanted to use the window and it now sat between the dishwasher and the kitchen table. She went mental at me demanding that “I do something about my washing”. I was really confused as to what she meant.
“Do what about it?” genuine confusion
“it’s sitting there in the middle of the middle of the kitchen and I can’t get access to the dishwasher!!l indignant outrage
“I - didn’t out my washing there. I put it by the window!” confusion “Did you move it then?”
“Well I had to do so to open the window!” genuine contempt as if that were obvious
“So why are you angry at me? I haven’t done anything wrong? Mum? You’re upset at me because the washing is in a place that YOU moved it to, and didn’t move it back? That doesn’t make ANY LOGICAL SENSE?!”
“Well you should have moved it”.
Etc etc.
So she said that her moving it and being angry at me for where it is is only illogical “in your mind, Apostastrophe, maybe”. It’s honestly not the first time I’ve felt so fucking confused. I mean I know when I enter a room I have to fucking scope out her mood before speaking, to try to gauge what her fucking rage is about (you know when you say “how are you?” To work out from the answer if there’s a new grudge) etc but this was outrageous to me.
I told her that it is completely irrational and I refuse to accept it. Despite fureiously ending up having to fold up still partially damp clothes to put away to appease her.
She naturally, is refusing to speak to me again. This usually lasts for 2-3 days of her literally refusing to respond to active questions, acknowledge me or give one word answers if that.
I haven’t considered myself raised by a narcissist but so many times the question comes up in my mind. And it will remain in my mind for the next likely 5 days if I’m strong enough to resist trying to buy back affection.
- Edit: about her disabilities which are much more easily managed now. I don’t have to help her dress and undress and wash now that she has lost a lot of weight. But she does now need some assistance. I wasn’t being a bitch being like “oh move the object yourself, you who cannot easily”. Even if a clothes horsey weren’t the easiest thing to move antway.