Leaving AA Story from Stanton Peele

Just wanted to share this story that was on Dr. Peele’s Facebook page. It’s from 2021 so Vicki must be past 6 years sober now. To those of us who have left the cult, we are out there and we are legion. Never stop questioning and listen to your own inner wisdom.

Someone who transitioned from AA to life:

I'm a 56 yr old female. I started going to AA after being court ordered for my 2nd DUI. I was also sentenced to a year probation which means no drinking while on probation. I went to meetings that first year 5 to 7 times a week. Even after I was released from probation I went to meetings.

AA is very structured. Meaning do what they tell you to do. Get a sponsor, call your sponsor everyday, work the steps, dont date your first year, be of service to AA. Service to AA implies you give back by chairing meetings, making coffee, clean up after meetings, giving people rides, being secretary to your home group, giving the lead at lead meetings etc. And eventually getting your first sponsee.

But lets get back to the biggie. Working the steps. Basically it falls on Gods hands. Only God has the power to relieve you of your addiction. Each step focuses on the power of God and giving your will up and placing it in Gods hands. And that was my first struggle. But i gave it a shot anyway. I did everything that was asked of me even when i didnt believe one bit of what they asked of me. I preformed to their standards for 2 years. Till i started asking questions, questions the challenged the AA principles. Questions the AA robots couldn't answer. Sitting in meetings started depressing me. Is this what my life is going to be like? For the rest of my life?

I dropped to 2 meetings a week. I started volunteering at a farm animal rescue a couple evenings a week which eventually lead to every Saturday mornings as well. I still had my regular day job which meant i couldnt volunteer days. Farm work is hard work. Phyiscal work and its not always sunny and 70. The animals need fed, watered and cared for. This means getting up at 5 am on a Saturday when its -10 F. Or working when its 105 F in August. It means waking up at 2 am when you’re on call. To chase down a pig and bring that pig to safety. Our sanctuary rescues criminally abused farm animals that suffer from humans consuming animals. This became my passion. This was my life now. Eventually volunteers hours turned into a paying part time gig. Which turned into fulltime as the doctor I was working for retired. I started hiking and joined hiking clubs which turned into hiking trips out west, weekend camping trips.

I was struggling to even make 1 meeting a week. The AA robots started asking where I was. Telling me without AA I would relapse. And that anyone who leaves the program will surely end up dead or in jail. They couldn t understand that there is more than one way to stay sober. I told them I was no longer part of AA as I decided to leave the program.The AA robots said I shouldn’t be making any decisions without first calling my sponsor and praying about it.

AA is fine for some people. People that like to live their lives in square little boxes and never leave the box. I couldnt grow as a person stuck in the one box fits all rules of AA. I also cant live my life based on others judgements or opinions of me. Other people dont get to validate my worth. I also cant live in the past. I dont look behind me cause I am not living there. Sitting in a church basement 4 nites a week saying, "Hi I’m Vicky, I’m an alcoholic " does nothing to keep me sober.

My journey, my story, my life.

Vicky A former drinker 3 1/2 years sober