Need help : Am I Gay ?

Hello

I am a 40-year-old man, married with a child. Sex in my marriage is not an issue; at most, it sometimes feels a bit routine-but nothing serious.

I've always been somewhat self-conscious about the size of my penis, and l've always wanted to see other penises to compare them with mine. Even when I watch porn, I somehow like seeing the penis penetrating the vagina. However, I don't enjoy watching sex between two men.

Recently, I discovered online video chat websites where you can masturbate with strangers. Most of the participants are men, and I realized that I somehow like it and find it arousing to see or be seen by men online.

I find it arousing to see other penises having sex with a vagina or being masturbated. I am aroused by the penis itself, automatically comparing it to mine, but I am not aroused by the man himself, nor do I physically desire this interaction.

The big question: Am I gay?