Was my ex raping me?

When I(22f) was 19 I got into my first real relationship with a guy at work. He was 21 and one of the few people at work my age so I was excited when he wanted to be friends and then not long after we started dating.

Within the first week of dating he made me touch him to see how big he was. I thought it was weird but we were dating so I thought it was okay. But then he started feeling me up and would get upset when I asked him to stop since I was a virgin and not ready for all that.

For the next couple weeks he would repeatedly tell me how bad he wanted me, that we were dating so I should want to have sex with him. I remember he kept saying I'd have to lose my virginity at some point so I should just get it over with. He kept saying stuff about how I was making him feel undesirable and at one point even made me start telling him I loved him because he loved me and if I didn't feel that way then I was obviously just using him for alcohol (I never got alcohol from him btw). He said all those things for weeks and convinced me I wasn't in an abusive relationship and that I'd never find someone better than him.

Then we went to his dad's funeral. He knew that I had lost my dad pretty traumatically about a year prior so he used that against me. That night he was telling me that he really needed me and that I would've wanted my partner to distract me and make me feel better if I'd had one when my dad passed. He kept saying stuff like that over and over along with some stuff about not knowing what he would do if I didn't give in until I felt too guilty and a little scared and agreed to have sex. He even lied about having condoms and then wouldn't let me back out because I was on birth control so it didn't matter to him anyway.

For the rest of our relationship (only about a month or so longer) he would tell me we already did it so now I should want it and should let it happen. I never wanted it but always agreed since I felt like I had to and eventually just stopped saying anything since he wouldn't stop if I asked anyway. That's why I'm confused about if it's rape or not, I technically agreed to have sex but he also really pressured and manipulated me. Sometimes I feel like I'm just making excuses for sex and a relationship I regret having.