I hate that I'm not a real girl

I fucking hate this. It's so pathetic. I can't just be a tough and cool boy. I have to want to be a girl or at least a femboy.

It's so stupid. No one wants a stupid trans freak. No one wants a feminine boy. Why can't I just be happy with the gender God gave me?

I'm an abomination. I should be cutting. I should be getting rid of my desire to be anything other than what God wanted.

I'm so useless. I want to be a different gender but I couldn't even accept my ex when they did. It scared and overwhelmed me. How fucking pathetic. She accepted me, but I wasn't good enough. I got anxious.

I don't want to wake up. I can't enjoy my weekend because it means going back to school, going back to my mask, going back to being a boy.

I hate being here. Im useless.