Feminine trans men and masculine trans women deserve respect too.

I don't usually post things like this because I'm scared of creating controversy, but I feel this is something important that needs to be said. I am constantly disappointed by the hostility towards feminine trans men and masculine trans women. I've observed this hostility not just from some cis people, but from some trans people as well.

I understand that this is confusing for people. Obviously, in a society that functions primarily on a binary idea of gender, it is easier to understand trans men and women who present in ways that don't challenge that system. I just wish people would ask questions instead of automatically invalidating another person's whole existence because they don't understand it.

That being said, It's very suspicious to me that if you're a trans man who wants to resemble anything other than a masculine cis man, or if you're a trans woman who wants to resemble anything other than a feminine cis woman, everyone collectively decides you are a confused attention-seeker who is 100% not trans.

Non-trans drag queens can dress as feminine as they please, and most people don't seem to have trouble comprehending that they are still men at the end of the day. Cis women can wear "men's clothes" all the time and nobody doubts that they are women. Trans people should be able to dress the way they'd like and still be respected for who they are. Besides, who's to say that a trans guy dressing feminine or a trans woman dressing masculine isn't their own type of "drag?"

I'm a trans man who sometimes dresses feminine, and I've been told by multiple other trans men that I'm not trans and am disrespecting the trans community by pretending that I'm one of them. I have even heard trans guys say that we should not be feminine because looking at feminine trans guys gives them dysphoria. I'm sorry about that, but since when does your personal discomfort with how someone looks mean you have the right to insult them and demand they change their appearance?

All trans people should be respected, even if we don't understand their gender presentation or would never present the same way ourselves. Clothing is not inherently gendered (that's a whole other conversation) even though society has created gendered meanings for clothing, so if you want to wear something, wear it. My heart goes out to all of you.