Anyone else feel like this?

I don’t have any close friends, but I can’t say I miss it to much. It looks like a lot of energy, anxiety and heartbreak for something I can totally live without (I’m probably just coping tho). Their are plenty of people who are close friends with me and that I bring a lot of joy and support to, but I’m not as attached to them as they are to me. I’ve got a decent amount of friends to chill out with, they invite me to hang out, to parties and to go to concerts, but none who understand me.

The reason why I say that I don’t miss it is because I’ve learned to live with it. I know how to deal with emotions on my own/my mom. I know how to look for advice (teachers, online, friends with similar problems ect.) without being too personal. I know how to get over the little worm in my head who tells me that I’m unimportant. And in general I enjoy my life.

Yet something thing still feels wrong, idk what it is. Theoretically all my needs are met, yet I still feel un-full. I feel bad for everyone who says I’m their best friend and one day they’ll realize that I am not and they’ll leave me behind.