Unwanted pregnancy advice

Hi so I (19F) just found out i’m pregnant and it’s so shattering. I’m not ready for a child and it hurts to say more than i thought it would but i don’t want to keep it and am not going to. I’m not necessarily asking for advice but i guess needed some sort of outlet. Women who’ve had abortions or known others who have. what was it like? I’ve been sitting here balling my eyes out because i’m so scared to terminate the pregnancy and i really don’t want to but i know more than im not in the stage of my life where i want to have a child there’s so much more i want to do before( and i know there’s no schedule to this etc. but i just do not want one now) . It’s so horrible because i think that even though they’re just cells now they would have grown into a baby me, my own child.