The guilt is killing me

Am Hurting so bad right now, I recently catfished a super kind guy and I feel horrible about myself as, I did catfish him coz am unattractive or ugly,, and I feel so bad about myself,, I realize all my mental issues and trauma come from being ugly and so I catfished him coz he would never love me In real life anyway but I deeply regret it now coz if I didn't catfish him we would still be friends and we will still be chatting here and there but now he blocked me and I feel like death I feel so horrible about my lack of dating and also constant rejection it's alot of pain